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  • my case

    I tried calling my homeopath to tell her that I was making no progress on the remedy she gave me and to find out what it was so I could let you all know. Sheís on vacation.
    So Snoopy had kindly suggested that I might want to post my case here and see if you all could help. So here it is. My sincere apologies for its length, but there is an awful lot to tell and I thought it best that you knew all that I could think of that might be significant.

    I saw my homeopath for the first time on June 27. She mailed me a remedy which I took on July 6. I had approx 3 days of nausea and restless sleep, but otherwise no change that I noticed. I stayed away from mint, coffee,etc.

    Biggest emotional news is my very unhappy marriage. The highlights are that my husband is verbally abusive, given to unpredictability (can either be very calm and understanding or ruin a whole night for the entire family because no one took bread out of the freezer and he had to do it). Life with him is currently me trying to stay out of his way so I donít have to deal with him. He hates this and fluctuates between pouting, ranting and trying to be nice(very different from actually being nice).

    Maybe I could do a quick synopsis of our relationship. Married 24 years. He was independent; thought I was too clingy if I wanted to do things with him. Very solitary dude(books, computers, music, woodworking, quiet when watching tv, etc). I raised our kids with almost no help from him. (They hold a huge grudge about this.) My kids got old enough to do grown up things with me(talk to, go to movies, go hiking, go on trips). I no longer asked him to do things. After a while he noticed that we were a unit (the three of us and that he didnít belong. ie- he doesnít know much about us at all. This made him very angry. This situation continues to be a problem. About five years ago, I realized that he was ďin a bad moodĒ a lot of the time. So much so that the good days were the ones that were different. Looking back on my journal, I noticed this had always been the case and that change was unlikely. I decided that I didnít like my kids or their friends or anyone really seeing me as putting up with the way he treated me, so I moved out of my bedroom. I continue to sleep wherever thereís a spare bed in the house.(There were really many reasons that I moved out, but they all boil down to letting him know that I would not even pretend to be married to someone who treats me the way he does.)

    He very much wishes that he was part of the family. He understands(intellectually) that all of our complaints are valid. He has many other problems himself.(all of which affect all of us)
    I am nervous almost all the time to some degree when heís in the house. I am angry a lot of the time when heís here or when I think about my situation.

    Optimism-my general outlook on life is that things will always work out for the best.(even if it doesn't seem so at the time-- later we can always look back and say, "Yes. It did turn out for the best even though I couldn't see it at the time") And no problem is insurmountable. We have to just be calm and figure out the answer or wait for it to be revealed.

    (This brings a HUGE conflict with Joe who sees all life pessimistically, looks for the problems (admits to this) and finds most problems overwhelming)

    Finishing projects- huge problem. Regardless of original intensity of motivation, I have a terrible time sticking with most things I start. This often results in feelings of guilt, that I disappointed myself or my kids.

    Perfectionism- by which I mean that I am significantly more likely to exercise tomorrow if I exercised today than I am if I was planning to exercise today by didn't. If I disappoint myself by not doing things I promised myself I'd do, I have an uphill battle to get myself not to just say "forget it" and quit entirely until I'm motivated to begin again at some future date.

    Money- I have complete trust that I will always have whatever I need. Historically speaking, I would say that this is one of the basic truths that I hold most dear and that has proven true for me time and time again. (Joe, on the other hand, constantly worries about money. Everything costs too much. We'll never have enough. Preoccupied with winning a lot of money, suing someone for a lot of money or making a killing investing.)

    Humor- is very important in my life. I think I'm funny. I often think that life is funny. I see humor everywhere, even, sometimes, in the most serious situations. I enjoy funny people.

    Trapped- I feel trapped in this marriage, in this house. I donít have the money to support myself and kids right now(but may have soonóstarting new job in August). But even if money is a non-issue, I am torn between leaving with the kids for my sake(and theirs too, ultimately) or staying because they are attached to the idea of an intact family in the only house theyíve ever called home. I go round and round all the time trying to find the best answer for all of us. This occupies a lot of my time.

    Nature is very important to me.

    Claustrophobic - this effects my life on a regular basis.

    Painful joints - mostly hands, feet, ankles, hips. Very noticeable when getting up after sitting. (in other words, when beginning to use them after a period of rest.) This seems to be a little better of late, maybe the weather.

    Not wanting to inconvenience anyone-I would do anything for just about anyone at the drop of a hat. Love to help. So glad they could count on me. But I almost never ask for help. Even from my kids. I just try to do it all. With people who "should " be helping me or seeing that I need help, I eventually get angry, try to inflict guilt. Then I feel bad because I don't really want them to feel guilty; I just want them to help because they care about me, without me having to ask.
    This also applies to small things. For example I put off calling people I know because I don't want to bother them/ disturb them when they're busy.

    Telephone- That reminds me. I have a problem using the phone. Except for business calls and sometimes calls to people I am real close to.I'll put making phone calls off for days.

    A major part of the ďpictureĒ of me is that I generally appear scattered. I interrupt all conversation to say something that comes into my head. Whether Iím talking or someone else is. After Iíve left someone Iíve been talking with I can always remember several conversations that were started and never finished because I interrupted and we never got back to what we had been talking about.

    Although I seem scattered, I am very good at keeping track of everything that I need toÖbills, kids schedules, where everything(and everybody) is. Iím right on top of it.

    I have a great memory.

    ĒasthmaĒómanifesting as overwhelming coughing fits lasting approximately one minute (a very long minute when everyone is waiting for you to stop coughing), accompanied often by wheezing. Cold drinks help quickly as does cold air and mint.
    Attacks precipitated by exertion, stress (even a relatively small fear can bring about a MAJOR wheezing attackólike an unexpected phone call from someone who makes me nervous), maybe dairy (often, but sometimes not),fatty foods, salty foods, smoke, perfumes(and some other smells), changes of position(getting up after laying down or sitting, laying down after standing). Other interesting tidbit is that once Iíve had an attack, Iím immune from having another for a while (maybe 30 minutes). I can do things that would normally cause an attack risk free if Iíve just had one. ®
    These attacks are a large part of my life.

    Facial rash diagnosed as Seborrheic dermatitis(scaley, itchy chronic skin condition typically affecting these parts of the face( eyes(lids),scalp, chin, next to nose, forehead(between and including eyebrows), in front of ears(along jaw line). Inside my ears is also very itchy much of the time. Picture me at times feeling like everything above my neck itches(nose from allergies,the rash parts and inside my ears) [I have Nizoral cream, which I apply when I canít stand the itching any longer. It clears up the rash for a few days.] These symptoms have been with me for 30 years.

    I have anaphylactic reactions to an unknown allergen. This started August 1999. The first reaction was fairly typical of the rest. I had the urge to move my bowels, but was unable to at first. Gas pains begin sudden and intense. I go lie down. Must return to bathroom. Large amount of very loose to watery stool. Very terrible abdominal pains. Sweating. I would say cold & clammy(apparently this is where the shock comes in though I didnít realize this until I had gone through it a couple more times.) Overwhelming urge to lay down on the cool bathroom floor(and I do). Finally make my way to couch. Return to bathroom several times with watery stool. Needless to say there is some sense of panic that goes along with these episodes although Iíve had. Am about 90% back to my old pre-attack self within 30 minutes.

    Iíve had 5 or 6 major episodes. Too many minor ones to count.(in a minor episode the cold and clammy is missing as is the urge to lie down in the bathroom. The cramping is present but the diarrhea is minor or may not exist. I identify it as an anaphylactic event by the sudden onset of cramping that is debilitating to some degree and leaves within an hour. Also my abdomen feels bigger, as if fermentation is taking place in there. The waistband of my pants is suddenly too tight.)

    I continue to try to find the catalyst for these episodes without success. Major attacks have come after eating twice(though very different foods), during the night(many hours after eating while I was peacefully asleep), after a huge argument on Christmas day(1999) and on a very relaxing Thanksgiving day(2000).

    I came very close to dying during the Christmas 1999 event thanks to gross mismanagement on the part of the ambulance crew. (boy could I tell you stories)
    Mostly I just ride the episodes out, but on Thanksgiving I was in real bad shape again and administered epinephrine injection to myself.

    In the beginning I was afraid because I didnít know what caused the attacks so I couldnít prevent them. Now Iím okay if I have my epi-pen with me. ( if you had a homeopathic emergency suggestion I would certainly give that a try first. Generally I have 5 minutes or so to spare before itís obviously life threatening.)

    I think there is a hormonal element to these episodes. They always seem to happen around my period. During a three month stretch when I did not menstruate I had no attacks. I started keeping a log to try to notice a pattern at the beginning of this month. On June 30th, my last attack came two hours before menses commenced.

    I am ďaddictedĒ to chewing ice. It gives me great pleasure. So much so that I find that the ice is often the part of the drink that Iím looking forward to. This is a relatively recent development. Iíd say sometime during this past year.
    .
    I also love salt and salty foods. My actual preference would be for salty & greasy(buttered or deep fried). So, I especially like buttered popcorn, chips and pretzels, French fries, buttered corn on the cob, etc.
    Interestingly enough, one of my earliest asthma triggers was salt. There are those who tease me because of it, but I actually cough at the mention of the word salt (or the name of a salty food) unless I make a concerted effort not to. My kids used to say salt in front of their friends to make me cough as a funny parlour trick.

    I have menstrual ďtroubleĒ, too. My homeopath wanted me to keep my appt. with the gynocologist which I did and now she wants to do a uterine biopsy(on Aug 7). The original problem was menstrual bleeding lasting many weeks(letís say 12) at a time, sometimes profuse. (I think this is just the way my body is doing menopause)
    She also says Iím anemic and I have an ovarian cyst. They did an ultra sound which revealed a thickening of the uterine lining(as well as the cyst) and now she wants to check for cancer(just to be sure). At first I said, ďnoĒ. (because I think that I have a fairly good sense of whether somethingís wrong with me or not. Even she thinks that Iím probably okay and that itís just fibroids/polyps. ) Then I started to think that Iíd feel pretty stupid if I died from uterine cancer that could have been caught and treated successfully earlier. Now Iím back again to ďwait a minute. Why am I buying into this game they play? They get you in their trap and itís always more tests and next thing you know you do have something.


    I wake up most mornings with a vague but fairly strong fear. Itís been known to stay with me for days actually. (which reminds me that I do suffer from mild depression which I sometimes treat with St. Johnís Wort) My homeopath says that maybe I'm not depressed but that I have an awful lot of real trouble. This is not the case. The depression comes on regardless of what is happening in my life sometimes.

    I was molested, as a teenager, by my stepfather. Very traumatic. Lots of raw emotion remains on this subject.

    Through all of this I feel as if Iím in fairly good health(if these few things could be fixed). Iím working on working on getting my body into better shape. Sometimes I stick to it sometimes I donít. Iím being fairly patient with myself about that. I like myself. Other people like me. I love my kids a bunch and enjoy both of them immeasurably. I feel strong of spirit, although terribly frustrated by the circumstances of my marriage. I feel like Iím being held back by this problem. That I have great things to do.

    Here are some recurrent dreams, which I thought, might be telling.

    #1-Iím charged with taking care of someoneís horses or sometimes it is my horse. I suddenly realise that days have past and I have forgotten to water one of the horses. He should have died from neglect be now but I discover my error in time. Still I feel so ashamed. I canít believe I forgot. [I really am charged with taking care of horses on a regular basisónot my regular jobómore horsesitting, but Iíve been doing it regularly for about six years. I have never forgotten to give them the care they require.]

    #2- A horse or horses are in trouble through neglect or abuse. I save him/them.

    Note: Although most of the horses that I care for are reddish brown, the horses in my dreams are most often black. (So often that I used to refer to them as my ďblack horse dreamsĒ)

    #3- I return to work sort of accidentally. They need me. I know I have forgotten most of what I need to know. I take the job with much trepidation. Feel lost the first day. Donít remember next few days. Then I just stop going. I feel so bad that I left this way (without telling anyone). I know I can never go back there now. Often this is about a place I actually worked, but sometimes it is about somewhere Iíve never seen.


    In real life I have not worked a regular job outside of my home in 19+ years.

    #4-What Iíve come to call my ďthe state takes overĒ dream--- Iím in my house and discover that thereís construction going on at the back of my property. A factory or some such is being built. I canít stop them. Theyíre too powerful. The amount of property that is taken up by them varies. Iím always left with my house and the yard immediately surrounding it, but life becomes very uncomfortable with all of the construction and all of the comings and goings surrounding the factory. Feeling associated with this dream is that I wish I had done something about this the first time I had this dream. Sort of I knew this was coming and now itís too late to do anything about it.

    #5- AHHHH!! The best saved for last. Donít know if I can do this dream justice. The feelings when Iím in this dream are the most wonderful that I ever have.

    How it goes is basically that I go into my attic and discover several rooms that I had somehow forgotten were there. Thereís a bit of furniture in each room but no huge amount of clutter. I wander around planning how Iím going to clean them up and decorate them the way I want (and theyíll be a sanctuary for me may be the end feeling, but I never get there. Itís all about discovering the rooms and being so very glad that theyíre there and being excited about planning the decorating.) This dream is so real to me that I sometimes think the rooms are actually in my house for a while after I wake up. (Not if I really think about it of course, more like I just feel better and realize that itís because I have those rooms, then I remember that it was the dream.)


    Thatís most of what I can think of now. Iím a very self analytical person, constantly trying to figure out how to improve my life, so I know a lot about myself.
    I hope this gives you a fairly clear picture of me and that I didnít overdo it too much.

    Thank you ever so much, in advance, for looking at my case and any insights you may have. I look forward to your input.

  • #2
    Dear Merl,

    I see a lot of Staphysagria here and also Carcinosin--actually, they are complmentary remedies; but I haven't done any research yet, so we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves.
    We really need to know what remedy you were given so we don't repeat it! If your homeopath won't tell you (ugh!), I or someone here can fax her one of those "Request for Medical Records" forms and I have no doubt that we'll be able to find out.

    I believe you should be given daily low potency prescribing so that you will be free to treat the various serious acutes you have as they come up, like the asthma and the bathroom attacks, for lack of a better description. It can't be asumed that the chronic remedy will always cover the various periodic flare-ups that most people suffer from, that's another reason why, in a complicated case, I prefer daily low potencies; not to mention the needless aggravation you suffered at the beginning of your treatment with a high potency, to no avail. Hahnemann was totally against this, but the high potency habit is hard to break among homeopaths it seems.

    Merl, tell us about anger. How do you handle it? What makes you angry? Tell us about some of your experiences where you have gotten angry and how you expressed it.

    How do you feel about dancing and music?

    How do you feel about travel?

    How do you feel about thunderstorms?

    Tell us all about the claustrophobia. Give examples.

    How do you feel about going to the ocean?

    How do you feel after a nap?

    How do you feel about chocolate?

    What's your sleep position?

    What kind of growths or marks do you have on the skin?

    That's all for now.

    Talk to ya soon!

    Snoopy

    Comment


    • #3
      Dear Snoopy,
      My homeopath didn't refuse to tell me the remedy she gave me. She just didn't tell me.
      I called last Thursday to update her and ask her what the remedy was but she's on vacation. I think she's returning this week sometime.

      Let's see...Anger...first I hold it in. It builds inside me as I turn the situation over and over in my mind. Then I share it with someone who I think will share my opinion(usually one of my kids or my sister). In the sharing I rant and rave at how ridiculous or unfair the situation is. Sometimes I blow up at the "offending" party.
      This is almost always unrewarding because, if it's my kids, I feel very sad to make them feel guilty, and if it's my husband...it's a waste of energy. We've been having the same offenses and angry blow ups and talks for 20+ years. He understands how infuriating he is. He stays the same anyway.
      Me blowing up looks like this...slamming a bit(not too much, really), mostly yelling about the injustice of me doing all the work(which I do gladly) and always being there whenever they need me and if I need/want something there's always a reason why they'd rather not help right now. I ask for so little. This makes me so mad. And I cry, because I'm hurt but I don't want to hurt their feelings because I love them so much and I know they love me, too and that they're just kids and they're busy and they just weren't thinking. (you get the idea)
      My husband is another story entirely. In my mind I'm afraid to touch into the anger I feel for him. When I imagine letting myself feel it, I get an image of myself holding a baseball bat and banging it against the walls to make the point of just how mad I am.
      Only other things I really get mad at are injustices (against kids especially) and beaurocratic stupidity.

      I would say that generally I don't have any particular feelings about dancing and music.
      I like music, but not an exceptional amount I don't think. Sometimes though I used to picture myself dancing in a long flowing white costume.(like a professional dancer). Certain music seemed to make me wish that I could dance like that.

      Travel-- I like to travel well enough. It's always fun seeing new things or old things again. I love to drive.

      I love thunderstorms.

      About the claustrophobia. Hard to tell about a real scary time you know. Because I will relive it in the thinking about it. Just some quickies then...I had to have my very young daughter cut me hurriedly out of a dress that I had pulled over my head while taking it off. I felt stuck and could see no other way to manage it....I have panicked while washing my long hair under the tub faucet when it got tangled and I thought that I couldn't get free...It's okay if I close the bathroom door, but I panick if someone else does...I can't sit on the inside of a booth in a restaurant.

      Ahhh...the ocean...I grew up on the ocean. I'm away from it now (and for most of my adult life), but I love it.

      Naps...if it's a short nap and I fell asleep sitting up for just a few minutes, I feel refreshed. If I lay down to take a nap and sleep regardless of how long, it seems, I'm groggy...have a terrible time getting myself to a point where I can function.

      Chocolate... I like it. I could live without it.

      Sleeping position...Usually right side. But I actually sleep on either side.

      Growths or marks...(L) thigh raised red growth approx 1/8" in diameter appeared during my first pregnancy...Skin tag/flap on (L) labia appeared maybe 7 or 8 years ago...Liver spot on back of (R) hand almost at wrist approx 3/8" in diameter appeared within past 3-4 years (maybe less)

      Hope this helps. Thanks again for your interest.

      Merl

      Comment


      • #4


        [ 19 April 2002, 21:33: Message edited by: Merl ]

        Comment


        • #5
          sorry about the double post.

          [ 19 April 2002, 21:32: Message edited by: Merl ]

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi Merl,

            Why not continue with your original homeopath, since you need to wait for her return in order to find out which remedy you were on?

            When I do my initial case studies, I often see several remedies that could help a person. I give the one I think most appropriate, but occassionally, it takes several tries before the right remedy is found. I think you should continue to work with your homeopath for six months or so before turning elsewhere. It's almost always better if you see someone in person rather than over the internet; and she probably already has several other remedies in mind in case the first did not work.

            That said, Snoopy's suggestions sound good (she is an excellent homeopath). Maybe you can ask your homeopath about the remedies she suggests.

            Shirley Reischman

            [ 30 July 2001: Message edited by: sreischman ]
            Shirley Reischman

            Comment


            • #7
              Dear Shirley,
              I,too, thought that it was a good idea to stay with my "in the flesh" homeopath. Originally, I just posted a question asking if it would be reasonable to call her after 2+ weeks of no obvious result from the remedy she gave. Snoopy suggested at that time that I post my case. I was very concerned about having the uterine biopsy and possibly giving myself more baggage in terms of history to be cleared up homepathically just from having the biopsy. This is scheduled for next week. So I gladly accepted Snoopy's offer of help.

              Snoopy,
              The description that Barb gave of her friend's episode at 2AM is exactly like my episodes. Reading it was like I was there. My first time I thought it was homemade wild grape jam that had caused it. After so many I don't even try to trace it to food anymore, though almost everyone else I tell continues to do so.
              Thanks again,
              Merl

              Comment


              • #8
                Dear Merl,

                Just a quick note.

                For the asthma coughing attacks, better cold drinks, buy Cuprum Metallicum 30C and even 200C in case the 30 doesn't hold. Take when the attack begins. For the diarrhea with cold sweat and prostration, buy
                Veratrum Album 30C and 200C and take when the attack starts.

                Let me know how this works out.

                I'll get back to you later this evening. Have a good day!

                Snoopy

                Comment


                • #9
                  Snoopy - you read my mind. As I was reading through the case I thought Carc. probably followed by Staph!!! I then got to your post!! Oh well great minds and all that!!

                  You are correct in that she needs to wait and see her homeopath.
                  RSHom - Registered Homeopath

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Snoopy,
                    Thank you very much for your suggestions for the asthma and "bathroom attacks". My homeopath said no other remedies after I took the remedy she gave me. I assume that doesn't apply now, but how long will these remedies stop me from starting a new constitutional remedy?

                    Also, a clarification/correction...the sweating during these attacks may not have been cold. I was a little "if-y" about that when I originally said it. Does that change anything? Haven't had a full blown attack since Thanksgiving.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      When people on this Bulletin Board start to agree, I know we've hit a home run! Thank you, Ricky. Actually, I believe it was Shirley who said, "Wait to see your homeopath again." What I said was, we wouldn't want to prescribe for you until we knew what the other homeopath prescribed that didn't work; and I wouldn't feel right recommending a return to the other homeopath without finding out what the prescription was, because, what if we found out it was--oh, I don't know, Tuberculinum--it seems to be what everyone is prescribing nowadays--it would be hard to recommend returning to this person; but, if the prescription were Nat-m, or Phos. or something that made sense, it would be a different story.

                      Snoopy

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Dear Snoopy,
                        Thanks again for all of the time you're putting into my case. Can you recommend a good kit (beginner's or first aid?) and perhaps a good starting book. I've taken out a few from the library, but I have no real way to judge quality or accuracy. Any recommendations for a supplier on the web?
                        I've been watching you prescribe for a while now and I do think that I favor your approach as opposed to the one dose approach. However, I now have the problem of not a lot of money to start another homeopath with. Maybe I should get the kit and whatever remedies I need for my current acutes and work with them for now, at least until I hear from my current homeopath.
                        Thanks so much again,
                        Merl

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Dear Merl,

                          It's a good idea--what you just said: buying a book, a first aid kit, treating your acutes as they come up, and waiting to see your homeopath again. If she's a good prescriber, it may be worth keeping her. She might be open-minded to a suggestion that you would prefer taking her next prescription in daily low potencies so that you can be free to treat acutes as they arise, because your acutes are very serious and life-threatening. She may go along with that.

                          But, you know, we're still here, and if your homeopath seems to be flakey, perhaps we can help you through this. Here's a web site for you where you can order remedy kits and single remedies and books:
                          www.homeopathic.com

                          Snoopy

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Merl,

                            Also, go to the Homeopathy Home homepage and click on "Services and Supplies" at the top of the page and you will see lots of places that sell books and remedy kits. It's best to buy a 30C kit of 100 remedies, which would include cuprum and a host of diarrhea remedies! It may seem expensive, but its cost is a little over a dollar a remedy; when sold separately, these remedies cost over $5.00 a tube! It's a tremendous savings. The other thing is, in a tiny 1/2 dram tube, there are 1800 tiny pellets, and you only need a pinch--in fact, one tiny pellet is a dose; so you should never run out--it's a great investment.

                            By the way, do you want to give us your husband's case?

                            Snoopy

                            [ 31 July 2001: Message edited by: Snoopy ]

                            [ 31 July 2001: Message edited by: Snoopy ]

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Snoopy,
                              My husband's case, ugh. I could. I know he'd welcome the help. Definately too cheap to ever get around to putting out money for homepatic advice. No judgement intended, really. It's just a fact.
                              Thanks for the advice on where to get the kits and what I should purchase. Will get on it right away.
                              Will also try to get the info on my husband to you in the next day or so. Speed depends on how emotional it is for me to look at him this closely. Thanks much for the offer. The good thing about him is I know I won't have to talk him into taking a remedy or sneak it to him. He's already expressed an interest.
                              Thanks again. Will write soon.
                              Merl

                              Comment

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